Lost

Lost in a world of fog,
fog developed by my own choosing.
Smoggy and full of thick smoke,
failing to find my way.
Following my own footsteps,
losing myself in the process.
Alcohol providing the perfect cover,
to hide behind, even on good days.
Waiting to die,
waiting to live.
Waiting for life itself,
something good comes my way.
When all is lost, I choose to live on,
when not so long ago I chose an overdose.
The easy way out,
the scared option
Waiting for a day to carry on,
waiting for a day to be more than a survivor.

©2013 Trevor Litchfield

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I can never get through!
The line is always so freakin’ busy.
What I have to say is important,
it affects everything I say and do
but no, the line is still busy,
unmelodious tunes play in my ear.

You continually write to me, asking me to call
but no-one ever answers, it’s driving me crazy!
All I hear is please hold, the lines are busy,
one of our representatives will be with you soon.
It would take less than five minutes to have my say,
to get things said and sorted once again.
But no! Please hold!

Change!

WordPressSome things to note:
a) I have been attempting to find a new appearance for my blog without much success. This is becoming increasingly annoying to me but one day I may settle on something I’m happy with. In the meantime, please forgive the constant appearance changes.
b) I am considering moving to my own domain! I hate the advertising placed here if you are not logged in to WordPress, yet I love what WordPress has to offer. If their hosting fees were a little more competitive I would pay to have the advertising removed, a little thing I know but one that has increasingly annoyed me over time.
c) I do have two accounts at the Google Blogger, although they are much more controllable, for me they don’t offer the same things but that might also be an option given more time and thought.

To find the peace of mind I desire,
would be so easy to accomplish.
Yet the little things annoy beyond
all comparison to life’s real troubles.
Controlling what I can offers small reward,
when considered alongside that I cannot.
Trivial things keep me awake at night
whilst the bigger picture is beyond my grasp.
Taking comfort where I can,
satisfies even this meagre penman.
To pay up or move on is the consideration,
to lose my friends is no consideration at all!

©2012 Trevor Litchfield

A good clear out!

Sometimes your cupboards get over full,
it needs a good clear out of the rubbish.
Old clothes that you no longer wear
need to be sorted and discarded.
That old pair of jeans that are full of holes,
that old shirt that has seen better days.
They all need clearing to make room
for new and different clothes.

Then you turn your attention to the bookcase,
over burdened with books read and unread.
Which should you keep, which to pass on?
There are plenty of new books to fill the gaps
but you have to make the gaps to be refilled.
Your mind churns as does your heart,
memories of this or that one
Good reads all apart from those untouched.

Your rooms are now cleared and tidy,
life feels better, lighter somehow.
All those clothes don’t need washing,
all those books don’t need dusting.
Sitting back with a mug of tea,
you glory in a job well done.
Time for new beginnings, new clothes,
new books to read, hoping that nothing will be missed.

©2011 Trevor Litchfield

Monday Blues

DSCN0659

I’m going through one of my can’t be bothered phases, or at least I think I am. I’m thinking of nothing I want to write about. I don’t want to read others thoughts on their day (sorry) but most of all, I feel listless.

Nothing I do is either interesting or satisfying. I read without really taking it in. I walk without finding anything of interest to look at. Life has become a series of days where I wake up, do boring stuff then go to bed. Then, to top it all I don’t sleep when I am in bed!

I know this is part of the depression I suffer from and I know I will come out the other end full of life and vigour but while I’m going through it everything feels like a waste of time. It’s not easy being a friend of mine when I’m like this.

I did think I would skip these feelings after my body got use to my medication and for the most part I think they are working for me pretty well. This trough feels shallow, so hopefully I’ll get over it in a week or so. It has already been with me since the weekend, only a few more days to go.

Take care dear reader, life is for living.

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